Wacky Babies

"WACKY BABIES"

FINAL TRANSCRIPT

INTRODUCTION

Even as early as these 1959 home movies, I began developing my lifelong passion - wildlife.

Having fun with animals - especially babies - continues to be a pleasure for me, my sister, Mari, and my brothers, Mark and Marshall, just as it was when we were growing up in Arkansas. Whether we were playing with ponies or helping Marshall ride the donkey, we learned to love these beautiful creatures.

We pointed the 8mm camera at any and every cute varmint. Even this red fox that ate from our dog dish could not escape the camera's eye.

Ah, my very first wildlife film! Squirrel versus housecat. A little shaky, but it's a start. I'm Marty Stouffer, join me for a goofy, funny, touching look at some Wacky Babies!

AFTER OPEN MONTAGE/HORSEBACK/COUGAR AND WOLF

Decades after our pony rides and youthful exuberant play, Mark, Marshall and I head out on a beautiful morning in Montana to get a first hand look at this spring's crop of wild babies. Just as play, exploration and adventure occupied our own time growing up, it's a big part of every wild youngster's world.

Our first sighting is an infant mountain lion, only weeks old, hiding beneath a tree - likely waiting for mom's return.

A lone wolf pup wanders nearby.

These babies are curious about one another. They don't yet know they are supposed to be adversaries.

Mountain lion cub: "Hey, where are your spots?"

Wolf pup: "I don't have spots."

Mountain lion cub: "My momma told me all mountain lions have spots."

Wolf pup: Well., there you go. I'm, I'm not a mountain lion. I'm a wolf."

Mountain lion cub: "A wolf? Watch this. See, I got claws so I can dig in and actually...What's a wolf?"

Wolf pup: "You know, a wolf. Well, we howl at the moon.

Mountain lion cub: "Aahh, that's you that scares me so much at night. Watch what I can do. See mountain lions can, aahh, climb logs."

Wolf pup: "Yeah, I could do that if I wanted to."

Mountain Lion: "Well, come on."

Wolf pup: "I choose not to. But, besides howling at the moon, ah, we, we hunt....in packs.."

Mountain lion cub: "Oh, like this? Watch. Aahh."

Wolf pup: "So you can climb on a log. This kid doesn't know anything. Must have been born in the LATE spring."

Mountain lion cub: "OK. So you don't want to go hunting for logs. How about scratching some trees? You just put your claws out and..."

Wolf pup: "Come on, kid, leave me alone. OK..?"

Mountain lion cub: "Hey, I know. Why don't we go chase some butterflies."

Wolf pup: "Butterflies? Nah, I don't think so, kid. Hey, you better be careful up there."

Mountain lion cub: "You don't have to worry about me. I'm a cougar, I'm a puma, ha, ha, I'm a mountain lion."

Wolf pup: " I got an idea. Let's play hide and seek. I'll go hide. You stay here and count."

Mountain lion cub: "OK. Hey, I think I'm picking up your scent. It's almost as if you're right here."

Wolf pup: "That's because I am right here, kid. OK. Now, I go hide and you count to 300."

Mountain lion cub: "OK. 1, 2, 3 hundred. I found you. There you are."

Wolf pup: "No, You see, I have to hide before you can seek. That's how you play hide and seek. Now stay there and count."

Mountain lion cub: "Hey, wait a minute. 1, 2, 3 hundred."

Wolf pup: "No! 300, not 3"

Mountain lion cub: "I see ya. Hey, hey come back."

STINKY INTRO/STINKHORN

A young red fox is also out exploring. It too, is looking for adventure. But, what is unusual about this little guy is he just can't stay out of trouble.

This odd-looking stalk is a mushroom - a stinkhorn mushroom. It grows in the Colorado underbrush along side more desirable edibles.

Little does the mischievous fox puppy know, but the top of these mature stinkhorns is covered with a foul-smelling slime. Flies love the spore-laden goo, animals don't.

Fox: "Boy, am I hungry. Hi flies. Whatcha eating? Hey, that looks delicious. I'll just take a little bite of this. AGHHHH. Pugh!! That's awful. That's terrible. What is that. Oohh. Yuk. Doesn't taste like bugs or berries or anything. Puahh, puahh, oohh, I'll never eat that again. Uhh, terrible. That's discusting. I can't get that taste out of my mouth. Oh boy, yuk, yuk."

Finally, Stinky has his 'smeller' back. But, after a rest, count on seeing him again - still hungry.

BARN OWLS

It seems babies are always hungry. These downy feather-balls think they're starving. They are just killing time until their next feeding.

Mother Barn Owl arrives with the groceries.

Baby: "Oh, thanks, Ma. A big rat."

Mom: "Now, I want you to share with your brothers and sisters. I told you, one mouthful at a time."

Baby: "I love it. I love it. I love it.. I love it.......Good point about sharing, Ma."

Mom: "I can't watch. He has such bad table manners!"

Sib: "What a geek. You're gross even for an owl."

Baby: "Anybody want a leg?"

Mom: "One down, 4 to go."

Baby: "BURP"

NURSING (OR TRYING TO)

Not all mothers are so accommodating to their offspring when it's feeding time.

Bison: "Come on mom, get up."

This Whitetail doe is more than accommodating....triplets!

Doe #1: "Ohhh, chocolate."

Doe #2: "Oh, boy. I got strawberry."

Baby mouse: "Gee, mom, why do we always have to eat on the run?"

Baby frog: "Hop along mommy."

Baby snail: "Wheeeee!"

Ducking: "Hey, everybody. Look at me. I'm a surfer. This is coooooool. I want my mommy! I want my mommy!"

Opossum kits are famous hangers-on. The litter often numbers more than a dozen, with each trying it's best to hang on.

Possum kits: "Hey, ma, I suck, and I suck, and I don't get anything."

Mom: "That's cause you're on my back."

Possum kit #1: "I got it! Hey, look at me, Ma."

Mom: "Ernie, get up here. It's time to eat, not play."

Possum kit #1: "Hey, don't eat it all guys. Save some for your brother."

Possum kit #2: "Ha, Ha."

Mom: "Stop fooling around, Ernie"

Possum kit #1: "Hey, Ma, do you deliver?"

Mom: "Very funny."

Possum kit: "For a marsupial, she's got no sense of humor."

This newborn porcupine is urged on by mom to learn its climbing skills.

Mom porcupine: "OK. It's time for your lesson, Junior."

Baby porcupine: "OK., mom, how am I doing?"

Mom porcupine: "You're doing fine."

Baby porcupine: "OK., I think I got it, aahh.

Mom porcupine: "Oh, dear."

Baby porcupine: "Hey, look, Ma, one paw. Ha, ha, oohh. I got it. Don't worry about me, mom, I'm, I'm, I just gotta get my paw right up here like, aahh.....I'm fine."

Bobcat: "Obviously young mister porcupine doesn't know anything about hanging from a tree. If you're gonna hang, hang loose. Like this. Aaahhh."

Bear cub: "Oh, now you see, it's not about hanging at all. It's about climbing. Now watch a pro do it. OOOHH."

Bobwhite chick: "Ha, ha. Clumsy mammals. Whaaa!"

COYOTE PUPS

Coyote pups are among the cutest fallers. These little furballs are waiting for their parents to return. They pass the time like lots of siblings - fighting.

A tiny woodchuck baby watches with great curiosity. With mother woodchuck nearby, the little one takes a few more chances than he should near the steep dirt bank.

Mom woodchuck: "Chucky, don't wander off. And stay away from those bully coyotes."

Chucky: "OK., mommy. Humpf. Bully coyotes. Bully my eye. We'll see who bullies who. Humpf. Mommy thinks I can't take care of myself..."

While one pup is oblivious to the intruder, the other thinks this is much more interesting than fighting.

Chucky: "I've been looking for you. You guys have been bothering my family for generations."

Pup #1: "Hey, it's just part of the circle of life."

Chucky: "Yeah? Well you're not so tough. You can't even reach me down here."

Pup #2: "Just eat him and come on."

Chucky: "Oh, two against one. I see what it's like. I'll take you both on, hah."

Pup #1: "Come on. I'm a predator, you're prey. OK. feel these teeth."

Chucky: "Oh, oh, yes, oh, yes, I'm impressed. Oh, ough, ough, ough. Oh, whatever will I do? Heh, heh, heh, heh."

Pup #1: "Look, couple of years and you're gonna be lunch. So, why don't you just run along and play."

Chucky: "Don't you talk down to me you stupid canine. I'll chew your legs off. You understand me? Ha, ha, ha, ha."

Pup #1: "I'm just gonna walk away."

Chucky: "Oh, sure run away, you big scardy cat."

All the commotion finally attracts mother woodchuck's attention.

Here comes the cavalry!

Chucky: "Oh, mommy, mommy."

Mom Woodchuck: "Oh, honey, I was so worried about you. What.."

Chucky: "They tried to eat me."

Mom Woodchuck: "Those coyotes were picking on you?"

Chucky: "Ah, huh. It was horrible."

Mom Woodchuck: "I told you kids to pick on someone your own size."

Mother and baby reunited, safe and sound.

Mom woodchuck: "Come on, Chucky."

Pup #1: "Aaahhh, I don't like this kinder, gentler stuff. I should have pounced on him...pounced on him again."

The relief of the pup after his confrontation is cut short by a litter-mate's awkward malady. It seems that after answering nature's call, there is a terrible itch in a most difficult place to scratch....worms will do that. And these poor little guys are likely to have them since they spend so much time near their den.

Pup: "Oh, I hate worms. I can't even reach them.

If only he could scratch a little faster.

RED FOX CUB AND RACCOONS

This tree is home to a litter of raccoons. Careful not to venture too far from the safety of the den without the parent, these cute little bundles of fur are non-the-less curious.

Raccoon #1: "I'm not curious. I'm starving."

Raccoon #2: "Yeah, me too. Mom should have been back a long time ago."

Raccoon #3: "Come on guys. Help me go find something to eat."

While fluffball #1 decides to explore on the ground, #2 worries at home, while #3 has higher aspirations.

Raccoon #2: "Hey, bring back something good."

Raccoon #1: "Yeah, there's gonna be plenty of fish down here."

After a lot of effort, cub #3 finally reaches his goal, an egg-filled hawk nest.

Raccoon #3: "Wow, the Easter Raccoon was here. Hey, everybody we got eggs."

Raccoon #1: "Eggs? Oh, I love eggs. That's better than anything I can find in here."

Raccoon #3: "How do you like your eggs?"

Raccoon #1: "How about sunny side up?"

Raccoon #3: "Bombs away!"

Raccoon #1: "OOOOHHHH NOOOO. Oh, sunny side down."

Raccoon #3: "Nice catch down there."

Raccoon #1: "A little runny, but I love it."

Raccoon #2: "Do I smell eggs? Are you guys eating eggs?"

Can it be? Stinky, the fox, again? Indeed it is. What trouble is he getting into this time?

Raccoon #1 hasn't yet learned caution.

Fox: "Hi. Whatcha doing? You wanna to play?"

Raccoon #1: "No, we're trying to eat some breakfast."

Fox: "Why eat breakfast when you can play?"

Raccoon #2: "You better leave my brother alone. Our mom will be back soon."

The pint sized predator's fun is a little rough for the ring-tail.

Raccoon #3: "Hey go on, and let us eat our breakfast, or you're gonna be sorry. Don't say I didn't warn you."

Fox: "Wow? Well, if that's the way you feel, forget it.... So maybe you guys want to play after breakfast? Huh, no?"

Raccoon #2: "Now you know why I never leave the tree."

The fox decides to search elsewhere for a playmate... or a meal.

Usually baby animals do not have to learn life skills on their own. Parents teach.

DUCKS TAUGHT TO SWIM

This Mallard hen is trying her best to urge her brood of ducklings into the water for a swimming lesson.

Ducklings: "Walla"

Duckling #1: "Hey, wait for me....I've got my bathing cap on...Won't somebody please give me a leg up?...Not fair. You guys used all the sunscreen...Hey, who stuck this tree in my way?"

Seems like there is always one straggler.

Duckling #1: "Here I come. Pool party!"

SKUNK FAMILY/FOX DAY FOR NIGHT

Home for these little stripped skunks is close to momma skunk. Or when she is out foraging, they try to stay close to each other. Except for that one independent spirit.

Oh, no. Doesn't Stinky ever sleep?

Here he comes - there he goes.

Fox: "Hi skunk. Whatcha you doing? You want to play?"

Baby: "Ahh, no, ah, ah."

Fox: "Come on, I've been going all through the forest looking for somebody to play with. You want to like wrestle maybe or go jump around or something."

Baby: "Listen, we gotta to talk. Umm, some of the other animals they've been coming by and saying that you have been a little pushy. You know, you need to lay back a little bit."

Fox: "What do you mean?"

Baby: "Well, um, you know....like maybe, um, um, could you? Stop....Wait....Wait....Please...Would you stop going around in a circle? You're making me so dizzy."

Fox: "I can sniff, or we can bite."

Baby: "Ease off. You're coming on too strong."

Mom: "What is all this commotion?"

Fox: "Hi, hey, you want to play?"

Baby: "Uh, oh."

Mom: "Ah, what is a fox doing here?"

All is well in skunkland again except big momma is still perturbed about the intrusion.

Mom: "I turn my back for 5 seconds, and you children are playing with strange animals. All right. Roll call. Putrid? OK., you are here. Aroma?

Baby: "Here I am Mommy."

Mom: "Stay by your brother. Oh dear, Fusty, where are you? Get over here. I told you to stay over here by the lake. Come here. Always getting into trouble. It's you isn't it? You children are just creating havoc."

Baby: "Calm down, Mother. Gosh."

Mom: "Fetid, get here, come here. I mean it. Come along. Odorus, is that you? Yes, it's you. Come here. You stand over here. All right. I guess that's all of us. Oh, wait. Rosemary, you come here. Oh, that's not Rosemary. Here's Rosemary."

Poor mom. What a litter to care for. And there is still one left. Yep, there is always one straggler.

Mom: "Come here, dear."

OWL TRIES TO FLY

There are times when mom is not around to help and encourage. This Great Horned Owl fledgling is making its first attempt at flight.

Sister: "Gee, I wish mom was here to help and encourage....One, two, three, four, five, OK, and, and..oohh, a little faster, oohh...I'm not getting any lift here."

Brother observes from the nest.

Brother: "Dal Ral, air liner 009er. Winds out of the south, southwest at 1 niner. Proceed to taxi to take off on runway 2 niner."

Sister: "Would you shut up over there? Hmm, this is harder than it looks."

Brother: "OK. Why don't you try it again there. Aah, clear for take off on runway 2 niner, and ah..."

Sister: "Oh, forget you! One, two and yeah..."

BEAVERS GET 'BONKED'

Practice, also, makes perfect for this group of little lumberjacks. To become expert dam builders, the young beaver must first learn to cut trees like the adults.

Beaver #1: "I don't know why, but I have a strange desire to chew on this wood."

Sometimes their practice is much less than perfect.

Beaver #1: "Timber!"

Beaver #2: "Yikes, that was very close to my head!"

Beaver #1: "Oh, so sorry."

Uh, oh, a more ambitious little beaver and a bigger tree. TIMBER.

Hit beaver: "Ouch"

Chewer: "It feels good, no?"

Hit beaver: "No....I now have a strange desire to build a dam."

Chewer: "What is a dam?"

Hit beaver: "Umm, I know it has something to do with water. Perhaps, if I stacked wood on top of each other."

Chewer: "In that way we could create a pond."

Hit beaver: "A pond.."

Chewer: "A pond?"

Hit beaver: "Oui, let's go down to the water and...What is a pond?"

Soon it is seeing almost straight again.

Hit beaver: "What was I thinking? I have the rest of my life to be busy as a beaver."

Chewer: "Maybe if we stack the wood in the water? Umm, good idea, no?"

Hit beaver: "No."

Chewer: "It's instinct."

Hit beaver: "Oh, this water is so refreshing. I just want to lie and relax here in the pond."

Chewer: "What is a pond?"

GRIZZLY THREE-YEAR-OLD/WATER BALLET

Until I began observing animals, I did not realize that some youngsters were so good at dancing. Why a three year old grizzly cub can even do the water-logged ballet.

MOOSE/ELK TANGO

However, as dancers go, none can top a moose calf. Even though the young moose and its dancing partner, an elk calf, are North of the Border, the dance has a definite Latin flavor.

CENTRAL AMERICAN SEQUENCE

At first glance, the jungles south of Mexico do not seem like our Wild America. But North America extends all the way down to the tropics of Panama. Home to a myriad of exotic life, like the Spider monkey...and the tiny Margay. These creatures vocalize a wonderfully rich audible feast.

The Jaguarundi....Scarlet macaw....Jaguar....the 'tenacious' Toucan....and the deafening Howler monkey.

What I never knew is that 3 baby parrots and this odd-looking Tapir can do such a fabulous barbershop quartet!

Tapir: "Ooohhh, baby. I've got a nose."

Birds: "He's got a nose."

All: "They've got three beaks. They've got three beaks. Three short beaks. It's what we use whenever we speak. When we speak. Their beak's so short, their beak's so short. His nose is so very long. It's time to end. It's time to end, end our little song."

Monkey: "Oooh, that's a so nice singing, heh?"

Bird: "Nice singing, nice singing."

Monkey: "Yes, hello, what's your name?"

Bird: "Your name, your name."

Monkey: "Ah, si, Mario. Mario hi. Oh, you're so cute."

Bird: "Oh, you're cute, you're cute."

Monkey: "Oh, thank you very much!"

Bird: "Oh, thank you."

Monkey: "Oh, oh, you're hungry, heh?"

Bird: "Oh, hungry, hungry."

Monkey: "Great, I'm hungry, too. I know a nice little tree. We can go get some fruits and nuts - oohh, yes."

Bird: "Fruits and nuts, fruits and nuts."

Monkey: "Oh, yes, you like a fruits and nuts?"

Bird: "Fruits and nuts. Fruits and nuts."

Monkey: "Ah, so nice, so nice. I tell you what. What we do is we take a...Hey were are you going? You don't know where to go."

Just like the playful primate, this baby coatamundi is not a carnivore. He is so famished, he grubs for anything tasty....with a few time-outs along the way. There are endless treats in the trees...if you can just catch them.

Coati: "I got it. I got it. Alright come here. I got ...here. You're history pal. Come here you spider. You little son? I, I gotcha. I got it. Darn it. Ough! I got it. I, I, I got it."

Hungry or not, I've rarely seen such humorous tenacity.

POLAR BEARS

A Polar bear's determination helps it thrive in the Arctic cold. Baby bears are at home on the icy ledges while momma bear is out hunting.

Polar Bear #1: "I don't care what anyone says, I'm freezing."

Polar Bear #2: "Yah, me too. Burrr woolly."

Mom: "If you boys get bored, you can go out and play in the snow."

Polar Bear #1: "Oh yeah, never would have thought of that, Ma."

The cubs soon tire of hanging around and decide to stretch their paws.

Polar Bear #2: "She's a laugh riot."

Out to satisfy their growing hunger, they begin the search for a snack. Even at this young age, they know it means they must head to the water.

Polar Bear #1: "Oh, yah, here I come."

Polar Bear #2: "Oh, look. A loon!"

An unsuspecting loon is about to be surprised.

Polar Bear #1: "Guess we ought to eat it then, eh?"

The successful young hunter is in no mood to share his good fortune.

Polar Bear #1: "Just give me a little piece."

Fate has a way of turning the tables. You see, the loon has a different plan...escape.

Loon: "You ought to be ashamed of yourself, picking on an unsuspecting loon. How do you like that. Take that- that- some of that- and that."

Polar Bear #1: "Alright, save me a leg."

Loon: "You think your tough, I'll poke your eyes out."

Polar Bear #2: "Hey, those are my good eyes."

Loon: "How about your nose? How about your nose?"

Polar Bear #2: "That's my good nose."

Loon: "Good eye, that ear. Come over here. Don't think you're going to get away from me so easily MR."

Polar Bear #2: "Sorry about the whole thing."

It goes to show you - size and reputation don't always mean victory.

Polar Bear #1: "Heh, you just got beat up by a bird."

Polar Bear #2: "Yah, so who you gonna tell, eh?"

Polar Bear #1: "Eh, uh, nobody. Just gonna play on this iceberg. Hours and hours of fun. Ages 3 and up."

Polar Bear #2: "Let's just try and be happy, eh."

Polar Bear #1: "This is no fun. I think I'll go do something else. What are you doing over there?"

Polar Bear #2: "I'm, gonna do some, ah, some like snow licking. You know, I think like your attitude is negative."

Polar Bear #1: "OK. Tra La. Let's find the joy in life. Hey, look what I have here. Kelp. Never seen this before."

Polar Bear #2: "Hey, lucky you."

Polar Bear #1: "Hey look, I'm making angels in the snow."

The warm sun makes them forget their rumbling tummies, and they settle down for a little nap.

BLACK BEAR CUBS/BADGER BABIES

Just like their human counterparts, animal babies spend a lot of time teething which is why they'll chew on anything and everything.

Bear Cub #1: "Ah, delicious...Just moment. Objective-honey maybe grubs. Don't see honey. No grubs. It is like an itch that only chewing on branch can satisfy. Oohh, ha, ha. Careful, almost slip and fall. If I keep this up, I could get job in circus."

Bear Cub #2: "Maybe instead of circus you should try balance beam."

Bear Cub #1: "Be quiet down there. I am, I'm in delicate, precarious position. I have to find way to climb up big tree. Very carefully now."

Bear Cub #2: "I see you several times slip. I look for grub down here where it's safe."

Bear Cub #1: "Yes, well, it's not safe here. Perhaps you could, ah, assist and bring down please. Whoa. Hey, you think maybe on the ground you could give me hand up here? Get my paws up over here. Climb to top. Aahh! This is not good situation...I'm slipping! Ouch! Where were you to help me when I fall on back?"

Bear Cub #2: "I think you need more climbing training from State school, no?"

Bear Cub #1: "I hit you so hard."

Bear Cub #2: "I hit you back."

Bear Cub #1: "Come back here. Where you going?"

Bear Cub #2: "I've had enough. I cannot talk to you any more."

A playful pair of baby badgers forage nearby.

Bear Cub #2: "Let me speak first most politely. Hello, badger chicks."

Bear Cub #1: "Cubs, pups, kits...whatever. Let me for to introduce my furry, brown brother and myself."

Badger #1: "Say, you bears aren't from around here, are you? Oooh, that tickles. Ha, ha, heh, heh."

Bear Cub #1: "You like this?"

Badger #1: "Umm, that's nice."

Badger #2: "What's going on over here?"

Bear Cub #2: "Pleased to meet you."

Badger #2: "Nice to meet you.....I think I'll go over here now."

The cub is not biting the little badger. In fact, the furry teething toy seems to rather like the mouth massage on its loose coat.

Badger #1: "That feels nice. Could....could you do it on the other side?"

Bear Cub #1: "No problem, sweet lady."

Badger #1: "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha."

Bear Cub #2: "You smell sweet like honey."

Badger #2: "Oooh, you don't smell.......that bad yourself."

Bear Cub #2: "We don't like to eat you. We like to play."

Bear Cub #1: "Yeah, don't be alarmed. When I bite, it's not to make you dinner."

The other pair seems to have gone beyond stage one. They are into full-play mode.

The bashful bear?...Well, no chemistry, I guess.

Bear Cub #2: "You know as bear, we like to eat big juicy bugs and roll around on dead things."

Badger #2: "You don't say?"

Bear Cub #2: "Oh, yes you should try sometime with me."

Badger #2: "Uh, huh. Bye."

Bear Cub #1: "Hello."

Badger #2: "Now, this is more like it."

Badger 1#: "I saw him first."

Bear Cub #1: "There's plenty of bear to go around."

With no grownups around to teach them the normal reactions to each other, they innocently continue to play. Even though their parental separation is temporary, a permanent lack of parental guidance is a big problem for orphans.

BEAR

That is the case with a cub I named Grizz. I carry the orphan to my mountain cabin when she is just weeks old. Adopting a precious little grizzly like this takes a lot of time and effort. Besides feeding her, I have to play mother to this lovable little teddy bear. But her antics and affection provide me with laughter, tears and always a feeling of accomplishment.

Grizz: "Ah, boy, these humans have got it made."

As a bear gets bigger, it grows more and more independent and playful.

Grizz: "Good morning, Mr. Sapsucker. How are you today?"

Woodpecker: "I hate being called a sapsucker."

Grizz: "Sapsucker, woodpecker, whatever."

Bear cubs love to tease and tussle.

A pair of growing grizzly cubs try to one-up each other in a game of 'king of the mountain.' One silly sibling slips over the edge. As he tries to claw his way back up, sister seizes on the unfortunate incident...Sometimes, ones misfortune is the others pleasure especially with a couple of nutty bears.

Juvi 2: "Hey, Mom, sis is playing in the ravine again."

NORTHERN FUR SEALS

On the nearby Pribilof Islands off the Alaskan coast, Northern fur seals breed and give birth. The young-although not as agile on land as bears - still practice adult duties by playing their version of 'king of the hill.'

Young #1: "OK. somebody want a piece of me?"

Young #2: "No."

Young #1: "Watch out there, I'm 'king of the hill.'"

Young #2: "You're not so tough. Ha, I'm up here now."

Young #1: "Not any more. I'll bite your whiskers off."

Young #2: "I don't think so. Come over here you."

Young #1: "Ough, Ough, Ough, OK., OK. I give, I give."

Young #3: "Hey, look at me. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha."

Young #1: "I don't like that very much, here I come. Ah, ah, get off me."

Soon they tire of the game. It's time for a little snuggling with mom.

Mom: "Tell me what happened, sweetheart."

Young #2: "I was playing this game, and then he knocked me off, awh..., then he pushed me, and I was 'king of the hill.'"

Young #1: "It's hard being 'king of the hill.' Aaahhh!"

Just as in humans, sometimes itching can be contagious.

SCRATCH MONTAGE

As this family of kit foxes begins to scratch, mother fox tries to make sense of it all.

Fox Mom: "I don't understand. I just washed everybody this morning. Oh, gollie, they got me going now."

Fox Cub: "Awh......"

PRAIRIE DOGS

OK, OK they're not real dogs.

PD's: "We're not?"

They're Black-tailed prairie dogs.

PD's: "Oh, yeah, that's right. I'm a prairie dog, That's right, I'm a prairie dog."

It seems that one of these prairie pupsters is determined to have an adventure away from home, perhaps with this tarantula.

PD #1: "Ah, ah, ah...."

The tarantula is in no mood to be snipped at.

PD #2: "Ah, ah, what's the matter?"

This puppy decides that home is much safer.

PD #3: "What happened?"

PD #1: "I'm getting back in the hole."

The rambunctious little pup is not about to stay in the confines of his den like his siblings. Oh, no, he is off to see the world...well, some of it anyway.

PD #1: "I wasn't scared. Alright, hey, what are all these little....What, what are these? They weren't here a little while ago."

Little does he realize that these Harvester ants are about to change his mind about the "wide open spaces."

PD #2: "Whatcha all doing?"

But there he is, with all those ants. Now, for the consequences of his curiosity.

PD #1: "Owh! Ooh! Ouch! OUCH....."

Scotching on the ground for all he's worth, he tries to ditch the stinging monsters.

PD #1: "What do I do, what do I do, what do I do?"

PD #2: "Get out of the ants"

PD #1: "Good point."

Finally - home sweet home.

PD #1: "I wasn't scared."

STINKY/GEESE/TURTLE

Oh, no. Here's our determined friend, again, Stinky, the fox. He's out to pester another neighbor. A goose nest may be just the ticket.

Fox: "Good afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Goose."

But this time it looks like he may be on the receiving end of the fun.

Gander: "I don't mean to be rude, but as you can see by my feathers, I prefer you don't touch our eggs."

Goose: "Is he gone, dear?"

Gander: "Not quite, dear."

This pair of Canada geese are in no mood to have their eggs napped.

Gander: "Oh, there, he's off."

Stinky, on the other hand, seems to think it's just a game.

Gander: "Game? I think not. Now listen here, you rotty little mammal, keep your paws away from our eggs."

Goose: "That's telling him, darling."

Gander: "Thank you."

Fox: "I was just wondering if...."

Gander: "Get out of here."

Goose: "Really, go home."

Gander: "I don't want to have to get ugly now."

Fox: "But I was just wondering if the goslings could play."

The little fox and father goose get into a staring match.

The gander can tolerate no more.

Gander: "Clear off. Do you hear me? You have caused me to lose my temper."

Goose: "Yes, yes."

Gander: "Thank you, dear."

Fox: "Boy, they're sure in a foul mood."

One thing is certain, Stinky does not give up easily. But even this bundle of energetic aggression is bound to meet his match sooner or later.

A snapping turtle tries to hide in the low grass.

Turtle: "Ah, It is good to be all alone."

Uh, oh, Red fox alert!

Turtle: "Uh, oh."

Fox: "Hi, Mr. Turtle. Whatcha you doing? I've been having a wonderful afternoon, playing with all my friends, the raccoons, the skunks and the geese. Hey, how about you, Mr. Turtle, would you like to play? Huh, would you?"

Fresh from his last encounter, you'd think he would be more cautious. But this inexperienced little traveler apparently has no fear....Big mistake.

Turtle: "Think twice before you break my solitude, Mr. Fox."

Fox: "Oh, so you want to wrestle?"

Even though it seems slow, the snapping turtle can be suprisingly quick.

Turtle: "Yes, come here, and let me give you a little kiss."

Fox: "OK. with me."

Turtle: "Chomp"

Fox: "Oohh, ough, ough, ough, ough......"

Turtle: "How does that feel, huh?"

Fox: "Ough, my nose, ough, ough."

Turtle: "You like that, Mr. Fox? You like how that feels?"

Fox: "Ough, ough, ough, my nose, my nose, my nose, ough, ough, ough....."

Turtle: "Run away little fox."

The turtle, alone at last, slowly and methodically goes about its business.

Fox: "Oh, boy, oh, that hurts. Wow, that's the hardest kiss I've ever had. He must like me a whole lot. Aahh, this has been the greatest day. I don't think I've ever had so much fun. I think I'll take a little nap."

WOLF BABY-SITTER

Late in the day, my brothers and I head for a wolf den I spotted earlier.

The little wolf cubs are, also, fuzzy bundles of energy.

Adult members of a wolf pack all help rear the litter. A female returns to baby-sit the brood.

She's prepared to relax and keep an eye on the youngsters until mom's return.

By the time we arrive, the baby-sitter seems bored with it all. The cubs, on the other hand, are anything but restful. We have fun watching the tireless cubs.

Fed up, she calls for a little help. (Wolf howls)

Finally, reinforcements. It's time for us to leave these hungry, little Wacky Babies to play out their roles in nature.

With mom back, the puppies settle in for a little motherly comfort.

As evening nears, we head back to camp, a perfect ending to a beautiful spring day.

Mothers rejoin their young.

The little ones eagerly look forward to a parent's return.

Babies find security in family reunions.

It is all as it should be. We need to do what we can to keep it that way. I'm Marty Stouffer. Until next time, enjoy our Wild America.

WACKY BABIES

TAIL TITLE CREDITS

EXECUTIVE PRODUCER

Marty Stouffer

SPECIAL THANKS

Diane Stouffer

Hannah Stouffer

Luke Stouffer

PRODUCTION MANAGER

Mary Ridings

PRODUCTION ASSISTANTS

Vivian Surin

Natalie Benassi

Jeff Thompson

PRINCIPAL CINEMATOGRAPHY

Mark Stouffer

Marty Stouffer

Marshall Stouffer

Mario Benassi

Bill Mills

Steve Kroschel

ADDITIONAL CINEMETOGRAPHY

Leonard Rue Productions

Gone Wild Video

Steve Maslowski

Michael Pellegatti

Roger Carter

Sweeny Group

ANIMAL VOICES

The Riot Act

SOUND EDITOR

Clifford Hoelscher

SOUND RECORDIST

John King

MUSIC COMPOSERS

Tony Humecke

Chip Smith

MAIN TITLE MUSIC

Neil Argo

TITLE ANIMATION

Viewport Images

AUDIO MIX

Stage 2 Audio

VIDEO SERVICES

WickerWorks Video

Rick Gougler

Tom Welborn